As I lay in Shavasana (literally means Corpse pose) yesterday at my yoga class, tears welled up and streamed down my face, almost uncontrollably. This is not the first time, I admit. It is a well known fact that certain poses such as hip openers can release emotions while doing yoga.
Sometimes the tears come for no reason. That wasn't the case yesterday. We lost two dear friends (albeit they were older) recently and death was on my mind. Also, March is the anniversary month of both my father's passing as well as my mother-in-law's.
Thoughts came flooding into my brain as I lay on the mat. What really happens when we die? No one knows for sure, right? Yes, there is research into NDE's (near death experiences) and maybe our souls do float away or find a way to be reborn. But truly, this is likely going to be life's unsolvable mystery.... possibly forever.
Of course, hardly anyone likes to think about death. It is morbid, depressing and even downright scary.
But I could not control my mind.
I knew that all the people I have lost in my lifetime are inaccessible. I will never hear their voices, see their faces, touch or hug them. At least on this Earth and in my current physical form.
I also knew a day would come that will separate me from my dear husband and my children. And that thought causes me so much anguish and pain.
Every single person on this Earth will die some day, leaving their loved ones behind.
So then, why do humans act the way they do?
Rushing around from place to place, chasing fame and fortune?
Killing other people in the name of war? Power struggles?
No one gets to take anything when they leave.
I have to remind myself of this, again and again.
Love, family and enjoyment of the abundance of life on this planet are some things I tend to forget when I am in my head.
We sometimes get so lost in wishing how our life SHOULD be, we don't remember how short it truly is and how we can CHOOSE to be grateful for the gift that it truly is.
I am sorry if this is a tough post to read. I truly feel it is important to share so that we can live our lives with meaning, joy and gratitude whenever we can and to not take it for granted.